Photo Credit - Bryan Menne
Part of my Soul contract in this lifetime is to know and feel Love at it's core. Which also means experiencing what Love isn't in order to feel the journey of contrast.
In my day to day Sacred work as a Mother, Intuitive Lifestyle Guide, Energy Healer, Qoya Instructor, Montessori School Admissions Coordinator & Mentor providing instructional support for schools & classrooms, my job is to hold the Sacred container for others and the Collective to do their Soul work and empower each and all to find the deeper meaning behind what lies beneath and beyond what appears on the surface. Also to find the unique Truth of its existence in Ones life, whether that be professionally or personally, and often both at the same time.
It feels natural and true for me to hold this Sacred Space and yet today my capacity to hold the Sacred container as a Mother, for my nearly 9 year old daughter this morning, whilst she had one of the biggest meltdowns I've witnessed, was one of the most challenging spaces I've had to hold yet. My Love and compassion was tested and taken to new heights and depths.
These past few days Adara has shared her fears of me dying, and other age related worries that she has held within and today she could no longer hold it all and I witnessed her powerfully purge it all.
I invoked and Prayed for Divine Assistance for me to remain calm and peaceful, and intuitively gave her space to feel it all. And then I consciously chose to let go off my normal routine and chants of " please get out of bed ( for the 7th time), please get dressed ( 8 times) it's time to go, we're going to be late, take a breath, blah blah blah and gifted both of us both time and space to just do what needed to be done.
When she had purged all that she needed to (this morning) I asked her if she wanted a hug. She accepted the invitation easily and I stood with my arms open and held her close. She held me back, readjusting her grip to hold on tighter. As we stood holding one another for the longest time I thought, wow we all need this. We all need to hold space of each other to meltdown, to allow for whatever the driving force is behind our fears, our pain, our suffering, to just release. We sometimes just need to allow for it to be what it is and to know that we will still be Loved no matter the size of the purge. Knowing and reminding ourselves, often, it's not personal, it's just the size of whatever we are trying to hold within us that cannot be held any longer. There needs to be an outlet.
Shortly afterwards we sat together, I offered her some rescue remedy and invited her to choose a green crystal and hold it in her left hand ( heart chakra and healing stone ) and draw an oracle card from Doreen Virtues Childrens deck, Her card was " your sensitivity is a gift " I felt her take the deepest breath of receiving affirmation of who she was and knows herself to be, and to honor that truth and that it was indeed a gift to feel so much and to be reminded that she had tools to help her manage this gift. She wanted to draw a card from the Pathway of light deck which then offered up the card " happily ever after" sharing with her that her worries were unfounded and to simply let go and celebrate life. This card speaking to her worry of me dying and feeling alone.
On the way to school we talked more about life, death and the infinity of Spirit that always remains. I walked her to her classroom and delivered to her teacher and had a moment with her teacher to give her a heads up about how Adara was starting her day today.
As I began to speak the enormity of what just happened broke open my heart and I released tears of emotion of all that happened in last hour and a half, and there and then the roles of holding space turned, and her teacher held me as I had held Adara earlier and affirmed that this is big stuff and " you're doing a great job, we support you and Adara in your journey " - more tears, and then she joined me in her own tears of resonance for the journey of what it means to Love beyond time, space and often words and the full spectrum of experiences and emotions that we journey in relationship to ourselves, each other and the World itself.
I left feeling like my heart just broke open to new levels of compassion and Love, and as I cried some more this song In Dreams by Jai-Jagdeesh came on https://open.spotify.com/track/1NoxTgj073hVQPsdDORlvT a song I use in Qoya for Yoga or savasana as a reminder of how I desire to show up in the world. It always connects me to my heart and offers me strength for holding the Sacred container.
And I cried some more. I knew I needed to write what I had experienced today and for me a new awareness of what it means to hold the Sacred container for those that are most closest to me and often a reflection of my own worries and fears and the reminder to slow down, take time to be with those things, that are not always going to be scheduled or part of the daily routine and it's important to take time and space for what exists to emerge.
Those moments can offer up incredible wisdom, as well as create a deeper connection with the deepest parts of ourselves and also others.
It was no coincidence that last night at Qoya themed Shine, that we were asked to share ways in which we could shine more in our lives. I set the intention of Shining more in my intimate relationships as I do for others who may not be as close to me as a daughter, my husband or family members. That I would like to show up as my most Loving and compassionate self, particularly in those relationships that can be harder to show up in that way based on the karma and mirror reflections that are offered up, which are often opportunities to break past patterns and cycles that may not serve us or anyone.
So today I received my first opportunity to show up and shine with Adara, interesting that the oracle cards I drew were New Love from Healing with Angels and The Pathway of Light from the Pathway of light Oracle deck, which invites Trust in what comes through as thoughts and feelings, to be open to see signs and connect with Guides and Angels for assistance. I feel grateful for the opportunity to have access to the many wonderful healing tools that have guided me on my journey through times of challenge and also joy, and that I as a Mother I can pass along those tools to my daughter and together we can work through it as and when we can and are willing to do so in and from a place of Love, for the mastery of Love itself. An ever-evolving journey.......
My wish today is that we each receive the opportunity to Shine our Light and through our courage to show up in this way that we also invite others to Shine their Light, and to offer those who may be experiencing pain and suffering, the time and space to be with it and gently guide them toward the Light again.
With LovingKindness xoxo